Memory Lane
by Luisa
Summary: Sequel to "Ice Cream Kisses". A Glimpse into Giles facing fatherhood... and insights into his past, present and future...


Title: Memory Lane  
  
Author: Luisa  
  
Email: leyjd@h...  
  
Pairing: B/G  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Distribution: Dword, Kattie, Dee, TL... all my usual archives. Anyone  
  
else, who wants it, just let me know where!  
  
Summary: Sequel to "Ice Cream Kisses". A Glimpse into Giles facing  
  
fatherhood... and insights into his past, present and future...  
  
Spoilers: Through Chosen S7  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine although I wish they were. All I own is an overactive  
  
imagination. The ingenious invention of the Buffy-Verse belongs to Joss,  
  
Fox, ME and co.  
  
Feedback: As always... DEFINITELY!  
  
Notes: Ice Cream Kisses was set about 4 months after the twin's  
  
conception... this picks up the story approximately 2 months after that.  
  
*Emphasis* [Thoughts] #Flashback#  
  
Thanks: To Ness and Kerrie for 'oiling' the muse. ;) Thanks also to John  
  
Gray for the insight into men's thinking in his book, "Men are from Mars,  
  
Women are from Venus" and special thanks to JBG for taking time out of your  
  
hectic schedule to beta this... *muah*  
  
Dedication: to Donna... get well soon, hon :)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Damn it!" Rupert Giles pulled his battered thumb from the wooden frame  
  
before him and sucked on it in frustration. "Stupid blasted thing. I can't  
  
believe..." he mumbled irritably around the reddening flesh, "That with all  
  
my years... of fighting with swords and stakes... that I can't even put a...  
  
blasted crib together." The Watcher removed his thumb and surveyed the  
  
damage. Nothing serious, thankfully, despite its numerous encounters with  
  
the hammer, but there was going to be one hell of a bruise there before  
  
long.  
  
"Sweetie... are you *sure* you don't want me to call Xander? You know he'll  
  
be more than happy to help."  
  
Rupert looked up from his failing task and allowed his gaze to settle on his  
  
wife, who was currently leaning against the doorjamb with a concerned  
  
expression. He tried to ignore the sudden hurt flickering in his heart at  
  
her unintentional offence and instead counted silently to ten before  
  
speaking. He chose to take a light-hearted response, knowing that she hadn't  
  
realised what she'd inferred, and at the same time he was wary of her  
  
unbalanced hormones. "Buffy, Love, I would have hoped by now you might have  
  
realised that when a man needs help, he'll ask for it."  
  
Despite the gentle smile on his handsome features, Buffy pouted at her  
  
husband's chiding. She only wanted to stop him injuring himself - plus,  
  
since Xander was a carpenter by trade, she could see no reason for Rupert to  
  
put himself through this suffering.  
  
"What I mean to say, Love," Giles hastily re-phrased as he noticed the pout  
  
become a frown, "Is that I'm sure you're right - Xander would probably love  
  
to help - and I'm grateful that *you* want to help, too... but you know  
  
me... I need to feel useful. I need to do this... for you... for our  
  
children. You know I can't bear not doing anything. Plus, this is...  
  
well... my gift... to the twins. Would you maybe give me one more chance?  
  
If I still don't have any luck, *then* we'll give Xander a call. Okay?"  
  
Her pouty lips returned to their usual sunny smile, and she ran a hand over  
  
her unborn babies in understanding. "Yeah, okay. I kinda get that... the  
  
whole 'gift' thing... maybe I should think about doing something special..."  
  
"Buffy Anne Giles! If it involves leaving this house, you're not doing it  
  
without my help. Is that clear? I don't want any accidents." His face  
  
paled at the thought, but she took no notice, giggling lightly at his stern  
  
tone and shuffling toward him.  
  
"Yes, sir," she grinned cheekily, "I promise I won't go anywhere without  
  
you. Now," Buffy placed a loving kiss on her husband's forehead, "You get  
  
back to your work. You have fun and try not to kill yourself with your  
  
tools. I'll have a nice hot cup of tea ready for when you're done."  
  
This time as she leaned down toward him, he lifted his lips to meet hers in  
  
a tender kiss that would have rapidly progressed to something more had the  
  
telephone not rung at that precise moment.  
  
"Hmm..." Buffy broke reluctantly away and ran a hand affectionately through  
  
Giles' hair. "I'll go get that and leave you to it. See ya later,  
  
Watcher-Mine."  
  
His gaze followed her while she sauntered out of the room and he grinned as  
  
he heard her happy exclamation when she picked up the receiver.  
  
"Willow! You're so very much the person I wanted to talk to! How'd you  
  
like to help me with a... project...?"  
  
Giles' grin stretched even further as he tried to imagine what her idea for  
  
a 'gift' could possibly be. With a sigh, he decided to forgo the guessing  
  
and resume his constructing. [Whatever she's planning... well... I just  
  
hope she knows what she's getting herself into.] He pulled the diagram  
  
toward him and upon glancing over it, realised why he was continually  
  
hitting his thumb rather than the nail.  
  
[I've been stuck in a daydream all day! Those pieces aren't *meant* to fix  
  
together... *those ones* are. No wonder I'm all battered and bruised... I'm  
  
not concentrating at all.] He chuckled softly as comprehension dawned. [It  
  
appears that Buffy's not the only one who's being affected by shifting  
  
hormone levels. All I can think about is *them*, all I want is for them to  
  
be here already. Sentimental fool that I am, I'm so busy *looking* forward  
  
that I can't keep my feet on the ground long enough to prepare for what lies  
  
ahead. But then...] the silly smile was back on Giles' lips as he leaned  
  
back against the bare wall of the soon-to-be-nursery, [...I wouldn't trade  
  
it for anything.]  
  
He absently pushed the instructions away from him as he breathed a deep sigh  
  
of pure contentment. [I'm going to be a father. Wait. No. I already *am*  
  
a father. Dear Lord... I still can't believe it.] A shiver of pure delight  
  
worked its way down his spine before trickling forward into his stomach and  
  
gathering there into a ball of excitement.  
  
Woodwork forgotten, Rupert Giles allowed his mind to drift to memories that  
  
had brought him to this time and place; circumstances that had brought he  
  
and his Slayer together as man and wife and that had ultimately forged a  
  
future for their family.  
  
"Family." The word was spoken softer than a whisper as it rolled off Giles'  
  
tongue. It sounded foreign to him, yet its implications filled him with a  
  
strange warmth coupled with a deep sense of completion. He dared to utter  
  
it again.  
  
"Family." The one thing he'd never thought he would have. A wife who  
  
openly adored him, children who might one day revere him.  
  
There was a time when he'd believed that he didn't deserve happiness such as  
  
this. His past, even his present, had blinkered his view for so long that  
  
all he could see was a vision of himself growing old alone and bitter, full  
  
of regret for his failures, full of sorrow for all the people he'd marred.  
  
The first people he was truly aware of hurting were his parents when he ran  
  
away from both his heritage and his destiny. In scorning them, he'd  
  
effectively lost them forever. The ache in his heart had never ceased and  
  
in many ways throughout the ensuing years he wondered if this was what  
  
losing a limb felt like. Throughout his later childhood and then in  
  
adulthood, Rupert often found himself wishing he could turn back the clock  
  
and do things differently. Yet, even when he eventually  
  
returned to Oxford, neither he nor his father could move past the  
  
stubbornness in their hearts. Before either of them had a chance to realise  
  
it, a chasm had formed between them so wide that it was impossible to  
  
bridge.  
  
For a long time, he had tried to convince himself he was a victim of  
  
circumstance. That it wasn't *his* fault so many people had been hurt, but  
  
when push came to shove, Giles knew he had to grit his teeth and face the  
  
fact that not only had he destroyed his relationship with his parents, he  
  
had also sacrificed the life of one friend and broken the heart of another.  
  
"Ethan." It was a sigh of disappointment that had many a time drawn the  
  
other man's name from his lips. Ethan had been a good friend to him when  
  
he'd fled his fate - more than that, the sorcerer had been like a brother to  
  
him. No one had forced the hyperactive twenty-something with a penchant for  
  
dark magic to take a frustrated college dropout under his wing. No one had  
  
pressured him into seeing the potential in Rupert and encouraging the lad to  
  
believe in himself. No. Ethan had acted out of choice, as was his nature.  
  
He had always believed in Giles; to say that he had led him astray would be  
  
a misconception. It was Giles who had been curious as to his Ethan's past,  
  
Giles who had begged and pleaded to be 'part of the gang'; Giles who had  
  
adopted an alter ego as a brave front in an attempt to change the hurting  
  
person that lay beneath. His own hurt had been the undoing of those he  
  
cared about, for a second time. His pain had led him to join in on that  
  
fateful day that they'd raised Eyghon... he'd fooled around with magic far  
  
too powerful for him to handle in attempt to fully become Ripper and put  
  
Rupert behind him. That one foolish move had cost the Randall his life and,  
  
in years to come, its consequences would affect one of the few relationships  
  
that would truly touch his heart.  
  
After that night, the gang had distanced themselves from one another... all  
  
but Ethan and Ripper. Ethan's solution to the pain was getting drunk and  
  
absorbing himself into the black magics, alternating between trying to find  
  
a way to bring their friend back and trying to rid himself of his guilt.  
  
While Rupert, striving to rid himself of Ripper façade, decided to go to  
  
Oxford and make amends by living  
  
a better life. This time it was Ethan who pleaded, Ethan who begged a young  
  
man he considered both brother and student not to leave him, Ethan who fell  
  
apart with no one there to hold him together.  
  
On the rare occasions when Giles allowed himself to reflect on those painful  
  
years, his heart clenched at each memory of leaving yet another broken soul  
  
behind him. It seemed that no matter what he did to try and right his  
  
wrongs, it always ended belly-up. He sometimes wondered if he were just  
  
exchanging one hurting person for another.  
  
Then he met Buffy.  
  
Buffy, a girl who was so like him, afraid of what her future held; Buffy,  
  
who determined not to dwell on her mistakes. Her courage had taught him a  
  
lot over the years. As he watched her face the Master and recover from the  
  
emotional storm left within her in the aftermath of her death and, as he  
  
wondered at her ability to move past her experiences with Angelus, he'd  
  
found his heart slowly healing. Through  
  
witnessing her agony as she lost her mother, he'd at last dealt with some of  
  
his own issues; learning from his Slayer's philosophy that there was no  
  
point in dwelling on the things that one can't change.  
  
And now, here he was; his past well and truly put behind him even as he  
  
heard himself whisper that beautiful word once more. Yes, for many years  
  
he'd believed it would never come to pass - that what he'd done had sealed  
  
any possibility that he would find a wife - but even those beliefs weren't  
  
strong enough to stop him falling in love and marrying the woman of his  
  
dreams.  
  
He remembered the day he'd confessed his feelings, so sure that she would  
  
never return them, despite all of Willow and Xander's reassurances and  
  
matchmaking attempts. He snorted lightly at the recollection of how they'd  
  
initiated the so-called 'blind date' between Watcher and Slayer. It had  
  
worked, though; he had to give the two mischief-makers credit. Once he'd  
  
spotted Buffy at the restaurant and they'd exchanged pleasantries, he  
  
realised that she was trying to hide a yellow rose on her lap. Her eyes had  
  
widened in realisation at the same moment as she spotted the identical  
  
flower that he was attempting to hide behind his back.  
  
# 'You're my date?' they'd asked in shocked union, before breaking into  
  
laughter. After sharing threats of what to do to their friends, Giles gave  
  
the bloom to the Slayer and took the seat opposite her.  
  
'Shall we?' he'd inquired with a smile as the waiter handed them their  
  
menus.  
  
'Why not? I haven't had a fun evening out in a while.'  
  
Halfway into the meal, Rupert had felt himself relaxing and yet growing  
  
bolder.  
  
'Buffy -'  
  
Still giggling from his previous joke, Buffy could only nod for him to  
  
continue.  
  
'I need to confess... that is, I mean to say... I have to tell you something  
  
that may affect our friendship.'  
  
Her laughter dying, he remembered how an expression of anticipation and hope  
  
had instead filled her eyes.  
  
'Go on.' Her words had been a dry whisper.  
  
'I...' He'd taken a deep breath, before bravely getting straight to the  
  
point, 'I've fallen in love with you. I live every second just to be with  
  
you, to hear your voice, to watch you move, to feel your touch... my every  
  
thought is consumed with you... and I don't mean in a Watcher-ly way.' He  
  
noticed tears of what he hoped were happiness sneak out the corner of her  
  
eye and, emboldened with sudden certainty, he'd  
  
reached to cover her hand with his. 'I love you, Buffy. I've never loved  
  
anyone more and I never will. You've stolen my heart completely and I think  
  
it's yours to keep.'  
  
She'd let out a small sob of happiness, then; a stunning smile alighting her  
  
face and, it seemed to him, the room.  
  
'I love you, too, Giles... I really, really do.' #  
  
Naturally, Xander and Willow were overjoyed with the outcome of their  
  
scheming and Dawn had bounced around with excitement that the two most  
  
important people in her life were figuring their relationship out. Even  
  
their friends in LA and the new Slayers were happy for them. He had been  
  
surprised at the lack of 'eeiws', but then again, these were people who had  
  
not so long ago survived an apocalypse. Each was discovering the importance  
  
of living for the 'now'.  
  
Exactly six months later, Giles had taken Buffy out for an evening neither  
  
of them would ever forget. They'd seen a movie, then as a surprise, he'd  
  
led her back to the very restaurant where they'd had their first date.  
  
Midway through the meal, just as before, he had paused, speaking her name  
  
softly.  
  
# 'Buffy -'  
  
'Hmm?'  
  
'I have a confession to make... I, er, that is to say... I need to ask you  
  
something.'  
  
He watched with amusement as she gulped loudly, suddenly struggling to  
  
swallow her food. The silence stretched out, his eyes sparkling as she  
  
tried to form a casual response.  
  
'Uh, er... um... yeah?'  
  
Swifter than a vampire, he'd silently moved to kneel beside her, smiling  
  
gently as her eyes filled again with tears - barely aware of the people  
  
around them turning to watch. With a surprisingly steady hand, he removed a  
  
small box from his pocket and lifted it toward her, opening the lid as he  
  
did so. He barely heard her gasp over the thundering of his heart.  
  
'What I need to ask you is... is... will you marry me, Buffy?'  
  
In typical Buffy fashion, she let out a squeal and slid off her seat to  
  
fling her arms around him, almost knocking him off-balance.  
  
'Yes! Giles, yes, yes, yes!'  
  
Their fellow patrons laughed and applauded them as he hugged her back before  
  
sealing their pledge with a deep kiss. #  
  
A smiled graced his lips and he tilted his head further back against the  
  
wall, lost in his memories, filled with indescribable joy as he recalled the  
  
moment they became husband and wife. She'd been just as excitable that day  
  
as when he'd proposed, urging the minister to get to the 'I Dos' quickly and  
  
squealing 'I do' in such a manner that left no one in any doubt of her  
  
feelings. The small gathering in attendance had chuckled long and hard and  
  
Giles himself had barely smothered his giggles.  
  
Everyday they shared together and that day particularly, was full of love  
  
and he'd delighted in surprising her with the honeymoon of her dreams. He  
  
knew how badly she wanted to see the world and was aware of how badly and  
  
how long she'd feared that she never would. So the ear-splitting shriek of  
  
joy when he showed her their tickets for a month-long cruise was no  
  
surprise.  
  
[Yes,] he mused, [Every event in our lives has led to this moment; to all  
  
the moments that lay ahead.]  
  
That cruise had taken them to England where he'd shown her the life he'd led  
  
without her. In turn, she had encouraged him to lay his ghosts there to  
  
rest and supported him as he finally let go of the past. More than that,  
  
though, visiting England had been the experience that had led to this dismal  
  
attempt at crib-construction.  
  
Giles grinned wider, before letting a loud laugh escape. He couldn't help  
  
it, the memory of his wife's confession of her condition made him laugh  
  
every time he thought about it. He'd been aware of the situation for a  
  
little while but had said nothing, knowing she would tell him when she was  
  
ready. The night she'd told him had been an accident, for she hadn't known  
  
that he was faking sleep, listening to her whispers.  
  
# 'Rupert, I know you had the best intentions when we made our pact, but...  
  
well... things have changed.'  
  
He'd heard her breath catch and nuzzled closer, trying to encourage her  
  
without revealing his wakefulness.  
  
'So, really, you have nothing to worry about. Well, nothing except all the  
  
things a father normally *would* worry about, like education, finances...  
  
those sorts of things...'  
  
He'd opened his eyes then, scaring the living daylights out of her. He  
  
watched as her eyes widened further in shock as he spoke calmly.  
  
'I was wondering when you would tell me.'  
  
She'd stammered and stuttered as she'd tried to regain her sense of  
  
equilibrium, amazed that he wasn't mad that she'd gotten pregnant so early  
  
on in their marriage. Once she'd found her voice again, it was her turn to  
  
shock him.  
  
'I'm not having your baby,' she'd said with a twinkle in her eye, pausing  
  
dramatically before sharing her secret, 'I'm having your *babies*. It's  
  
twins, Rupert. Twins.' #  
  
Insanely happy, he'd been more than thankful that instinct had told him to  
  
rent this apartment. It was nostalgia that had initially attracted him to  
  
it. Now that Sunnydale was gone, the band of friends had travelled to  
  
Cleveland where they were continuing their demon fighting ways while  
  
training up the new Slayers. There, he had found this apartment, so similar  
  
to his old, with the living area and loft. The only difference was that  
  
there were two small downstairs guest rooms off the narrow corridor. He  
  
hadn't intended to purchase something so large, thinking that they would  
  
never use the rooms, but Buffy had persuaded him that if he used one as a  
  
study, they might actually get to have a lounge this time. Seeing the sense  
  
in her logic half-convinced him. A peculiar gut feeling did the rest of the  
  
convincing. Now he knew what that feeling was: a premonition of the family  
  
that would soon be living here.  
  
"Hey, Mister, whatcha thinking?"  
  
He opened his eyes to see Buffy in her former position against the  
  
doorframe, this time with a hot tea in her hand.  
  
"How long have you been there?"  
  
"Long enough to guess you've been remembering a certain... confession." She  
  
grinned and winked, "And long enough to see that you haven't done any work."  
  
He just smiled contentedly back at her in silence, thankful for her presence  
  
and the knowledge that she was carrying his children. Suddenly the crib  
  
didn't matter as much as it did, as long as they had each other. [The best  
  
gift we can give these children is our love,] he rationalised.  
  
"Everything okay, honey?" Her soft voice broke into his thoughts once more.  
  
"You haven't hit yourself again, have you?"  
  
"No, Love, I haven't; you needn't worry." He pulled himself at last to his  
  
feet as he spoke and strode over to her, taking the mug from her, and  
  
placing it on the workbench before taking her in his arms. "But all the  
  
same, I think you're right."  
  
"I am?" She blinked in surprise. [I'll have to mark this down in the  
  
history book.]  
  
"Yes, you are. We'll ask Xander to help build the crib. My number one  
  
priority is you and the babies. That's the only gift I'm going to concern  
  
myself with - keeping you three safe."  
  
She gave a watery smile up at him as she felt his arms tighten around her.  
  
"And what about you? Are *you* okay? You've been very quiet in here for a  
  
long time. Nothing's wrong, is it?"  
  
"No, Love," he pressed a long, sweet kiss to her forehead, "Nothing's wrong  
  
at all. Everything's perfect."  
  
END 


End file.
